“Stay in Your Own Lane” I first heard this phrase over 20 years ago when I was in my own therapy for anxiety.  My therapist would remind me that I would feel less stressed, and thus less anxious if I could learn this simple rule in life.  He would continually remind me that I spent too much time thinking and worrying about other people’s affairs.  “Laura, he said, you need to focus more on your lane and less on theirs.”  Let them worry about their life and figure out their own answers.

It took me awhile to really understand what he meant, but when I finally got it, it was like magic. And… I felt better.

Do I still need to remind myself (and often!) to stay in my own lane?  Sure. Old habits, especially ones that were reinforced over the years, don’t give up easily.  But, when I notice that I’m drifting into someone else’s lane, I gently turn myself around and let them attend to their own stuff.

So if you are finding that you consistently drift into other peoples’ lanes, let us teach you how to stay in your own so you can feel better too!  #justtellmewhattodo #justnotice #taketimetoheal #feelbetter #buildresources #rethinkanxiety #stimulusresponse #breakthehabit #itsoktosayno


  • karen

    I love the way these two pieces on anxiety fit together. Getting outside your comfort zone, and staying in your own lane, could sound like contradictory statements. but your explanations help me see how they are very different.

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